I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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