Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
