You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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