why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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