i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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