Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
