I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I understand Curling. That high.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
