I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
