dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
