Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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