I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
