Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
