Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
