you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
