I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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