he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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