Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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