Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
