Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
