this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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