We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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