DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
