im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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