Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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