Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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