in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
