I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
