I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
