I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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