Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
So much Jack, so little girl.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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