you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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