I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
