random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
