I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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