Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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