I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
