You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
