I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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