Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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