I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
