i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
did i just pee glitter
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
