we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
50% drunk capacity currently
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
