Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
this hospital has no fireball
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
