I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
