i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
