I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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