after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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