You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize