So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
