tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
