Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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