I'm jealous of your bromance
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
