Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
