That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
