what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
