there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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