My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
