I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
